BIMmaculate Conception of a Business Idea January 30, 2006
Posted by kurur in Uncategorized.2 comments
2006 will be remembered as the Year of BIM Marriages! With the prospects of inter and intra batch marriages brightening with each passing day, I have been seriously considering a new business proposition. If BIMites are worthy enough to have an exclusive e-groups to cater to jobs/career opportunities (bim_jobs), then why not a full-fledged website to address their unique matrimonial requirements. With the smug assurance that BIMites would not let me down in this new venture, backed by reliable information that there are many more such marriages slated for subsequent months of 2006, I forwarded this business idea to Aashaan (also known as BOSS) during the course of our weekly review meeting.
Having been at the helm of the world’s foremost Gossip Organisation (KK – pronounce Kyaey Kyaey in true mallu style) ever since its inception, it did not take us long to understand the potential revenues that we could derive out of this proposed IBU. To make the idea a lot more attractive KK is also contemplating to open the vast reserves of information on unwed, eligible candidates to the external world too. After all, anyone who has a reasonable understanding of genetics knows that inbreeding is not advisable unless totally inevitable! For more information and franchising opportunities contact franchise@bimmatrimony.com. 
Silence January 25, 2006
Posted by kurur in Uncategorized.2 comments
The autorickshaw that I was traveling in stopped at a busy traffic signal in Secunderabad. Lots of students in school uniform were waiting by the side of the road to get across. That is when I noticed that they were communicating (they were conversing rather) with each other in what I believe is known as the “natural language of signs” used by the hearing impaired. I was amazed at the quick conversations and comments that seemed to be flowing among the group of 4 students. They surely were not “handicapped” by their disability. As someone has remarked “communication happens only in silence”.
Partying in Power January 23, 2006
Posted by kurur in Uncategorized.1 comment so far
When the Times of India headline reads “Hyderabad under siege” it is the time to sit up and take notice. And since its ToI which reports so its also important to discount the situation by at least 1000%. But I was wrong. With policemen lining each corner of the city, Hyderabad looks like it has recently witnessed a military coup d’etat. (Time for a random thought. VKN, the legendary writer in Malayalam used to love the usage coup d’etat. The genius that he was, VKN was arguably the best writer of any genre that Malayalam has seen!).
But India flatters to deceive. The reason for the unduly high police presence is the ongoing AICC plenary session. It is that time of the year when all khadi-clad netas of the country’s mammoth political outfit – Indian National Congress – get together for their bit of fun. The party has a unique reputation of surviving the following in the chronological order – pre-independence British antagonism, post-independence mayhem, post-Nehruvian uncertainties over Leadership, Indira Gandhi’s autocratic streak resulting in de-institutionlisation (Courtesy: Dr. Chenoy, JNU, who used to drool on and on about Indira Gandhi’s demonic reign in classes on Indian Political System), the Emergency, Rajiv Gandhi’s indecisive leadership, the retreat of the dynasty, scams/scandals from Bofors to Sitaram Kesri (who was so “amphibian” except that he didnt croak) to Volcker and the return of the dynasty. All this peppered with generous dozes of dissent, splits, shifting allegiances, shaky alliances, treacherous allies and self-serving netas!
No state in India has been witness to countless splits in the Congress as Kerala has. So many factions abound, that single alphabets may not be sufficient to serve as faction identifiers. In fact “indigenous knowledge” about the party is that “the more it splits, more it grows and the more it grows, more it splits”, making the party and its leaders into objects of ridicule by the voting public.
It is quite ironical that these are the remnants of the Congress that Gandhi wanted to disband once independence was achieved (the single point objective upon which the Congress directed its focus). Had the decision to dissolve the Congress party been approved by the Mahatma’s contemporaries (read Nehru) would India’s political history be any different? Was/Is the Congress, as many claim, been the single largest force that has been instrumental in preserving India as a democracy? May sound futile raising such questions that cannot be answered now, unless we take a parallel life. (Richard Bach??)
Its not me! Its my adipose tissue! January 20, 2006
Posted by kurur in Uncategorized.add a comment
Every mother you see in Indian movies (irrespective of regional variations) utters a cliched sentence when her son comes back home after a long time. The gist of it usually is that her son has gone thin, pale and looks sick! And in all probability the son in the story would be rotund to the point of being termed medically obese. If it is a Tamil movie he would also resemble a bulemic sloth bear out to hunt his mid-day meal (Do sloth bears also take meals at mid-day? I shall surely ask Abey Varghese. Being a core member of their ilk he should know their food habits). And when I mention sloth bears I do not include grizzly bears like Vijaykanth, the Tamil movie hero. (Vijaykanth is a much talked about movie star in the Tamil film world, more so because of his innate ability to dance like a constipated African elephant than owing to his acting skills. But when it comes to his skin colour and complexion he leaves elephants of all hues far behind. He is known for playing the role of an angry man in almost all movies and rarely leaves the average movie-goer disappointed with his histrionics on screen). So why all this preface when all Indians are experts in anything to do with movies and cricket!
It is guilt! I have added close to 15kgs in the past 12-15 months that even my mother has threatened to disown me. Having been raised on a regular diet of Hindi movies poor gullible me had believed that my mother would still continue to intonate that I have gone thin! How devious and inconsiderate! I started developing a pathological hatred towards filmi mothers including the most popular ones like Nirupa Roy, Reema and Kaviyoor Ponnamma.
To make things worse, my pot belly started sticking out so much so that I even got a spot offer to join the Kerala Police as a Sub-Inspector. That was the last straw. I vowed that I would work out not only to get back into shape but also to secretly make a career out of body building. Huddled over the computer (Being an IT consultant is painful. Even if you want to go to the loo you need a computer with you!) I chalked out a workout plan. In fact I even learned to use Excel just to help me schedule the workouts! 2 years of MBA and hundreds of hours of quantitative and financial analysis papers could not get me to touch an Excel sheet (I mean virtually touch). Finally I was ready for some action to get myself metamorphed into another Hrithik Roshan. Six months down, here I am having added an additional 10kgs to the earlier 15, my pot belly as big as one of the moons of planet Mars and with concerned housewife neighbours asking me when my delivery date is! The important development is that I have been offered the post of Police Commissioner of Trivandrum, which responsibility I shall assume in a week.
Traffic Anxiety Affliction January 20, 2006
Posted by kurur in Uncategorized.1 comment so far
The past 7 months in Hyderabad have eclipsed close to 29 years of my life prior to it in terms of “Traffic Anxiety”. (A friend of mine was considerate to inform me that even the Fear of Vehicles comes packed in a phobia – Ochophobia?? – but I for sure am not daunted by vehicles that stand still or are driven “legally”.) If at all there were a place on earth that can be condemned as a sane driver’s hell (are there sane drivers anymore?) it is this city! I have had several close encounters of the vehicular kind in the past few months such that I have quit driving! Having lived in bigger metros in India and that too for longer durations, traffic indiscipline does not come as something new to me. But in Hyderabad traffic is not just indisciplined. It is plain insane!
Does the way a community (in this case one whole city of a few million people) drives reflect something about the people who are part of it? Applying the same reasoning, all that I can infer is that Hyderabadis are a horde of reckless barbarians such that my friend VVD would pale in comparison. (VVD, for the uninitiated, is not only a good friend but also a heated topic of research in Post Darwinian Paleontology. He is someone who got stuck somewhere in between the evolutionary hocus pocus that Darwin theorised. Had Darwin met VVD he would have never dared to prove the Origin of Species).
Coming back to civilised people, one question lingers in my mind. What makes an individual don the persona of an F1 driver when he gets onto/into his vehicle and behave as if he is driving an armoured vehicle!! Driving to Demolish should be an apt baseline for anyone behind wheels in Hyderabad. What really lets one down is that no one seems to be really bothered about the chaos on the roads! Instead all of them involved – drivers, pedestrians and policemen – seem to be revelling in it. Thriving in Chaos!
